Define normal in relationships. That’s been a hot topic this week. When I listen to my friend’s relationships, and when they ask me,
“Is that normal?”
I have to question, what is normal behaviour in a relationship?
When you think about it, the word, normal means something different to someone else, and being in a relationship who thinks their actions are, ‘normal’, when they’re hurting that other person’s feelings, is quite different from just saying, ‘that’s wrong!”
Over time, and through a few I want to say, stupid choices in partners, maybe they weren’t so stupid, after all, we were happy at one stage.
I think when you essentially mature, you develop this sixth sense about people and what you are willing to put up with in a relationship, but many of us (me included), excuse this behaviour and give it too many ‘benefit of the doubts’.
Its not that you can identify what you don’t like in a relationship, whether thats smoking, drugs, belittling, nasty friends, it’s knowing when to walk away from the unhealthy aspect of all that.
We are so focused on what’s ‘norma’l’, that we are forgetting the crucial signal in our stupid brains, and that is to get up and move on.
Your life is made of all these amazing parts, your friends, your career, your hobbies, and when you bring a relationship into that, it’s not an umbrella over them all, its just another addition.
Which, I thought I’d let you know, can be taken away. If you want.
My hope for 2018, is that I walk away sooner from anything I don’t like, because it’s not normal for me to put up with that behaviour, not that they’ve suddenly started doing it.
I think when you put yourself first (without being selfish, duh!), you’re simply being kinder to everyone around you.
It’s that unhappy couple that are always arguing at gatherings, family parties or in public.
You’re not working because each of you needs to work on something, and that can’t be fixed with getting in another relationship. Other people can’t solve your problems, you have to be your own hero.
If for instance, I was doing well in my career and my partner couldn’t see how happy it was making me, that’s their problem.
Its all about knowing yourself and your energy and what you’re not prepared to let in and destroy an aspect of your life that was already on its journey, waaaaaaaaay before they ever stepped into your life.
If they can handle your success, whether thats a new complex yoga move, a long awaited book release or promotion, then get rid. Its only going to make you argue, sad, upset.
I don’t know about you, but I want those tears that make you smile in-between wiping them from your face and kissing them.
You should be rooting for each other, to me, that’s what I define as ‘normal’.