A few weeks ago, my big brother got married to his soul mate and I wanted to dedicate a blog post to my new sister and my brother who have inspired me to write about love again.
It’s been over a year, nearly two actually, since I stopped writing specifically about someone who I cared about and I know I can still remember the days when I’d scribble down beautiful words, happy ones that would keep a smile on my face all day long because I knew the person I was writing them about would read them on his lunch break or after work and then on the weekends, I’d wait to wrap my arms around him after he’d jog up to me from his car.
The truth is, it had been a long time for them both. I knew my brother just wanted to belong to someone, and I still feel like their love was designed and they were supposed to find each other and give each other love.
You see, my brother is that guy who would search through a woodland to find perfect bits of wood to then spend weeks carving them into pieces for the most beautiful garden gate and you’d expect this for your birthday or a day that meant something to both of you because that’s just him. For instance, he knew I’m currently at the point in my life where I’ve just graduated and I’m at that ‘keep holding on’ stage where you’re not sure if you’re going to get to where you want to be and well, begin. So, he sent the book, “The Secret” to me, which has proven invaluable for daily motivation and self-belief.
And Debbie, the first time I met her she made three or four of the most- I’m sorry I have to use it – moist homemade cakes! You really can’t describe good cakes any other way! Then that lump in the throat moment when she asked me to be her bridesmaid, and her voice breaking because she was holding back tears, suddenly felt overwhelming too. I thought, finally a sister.
I’ve never been with anyone to find a wedding dress and I hadn’t been a bridesmaid since I was small so, being asked as an adult to be part of a day that meant so much to two people that I cared a ridiculous amount about, was so important to notice the details. The details when she tried on the dress she would marry my brother in and the look on her face was so surreal, I didn’t quite understand it until I saw her on the day – she had a vision of what she would look like and my brother looking at her in it. It’s never something you can fully comprehend without actually being that person I don’t think but, I looked forward to her seeing that in me one day.
From my experiences with love so far, I’ve not felt its full potential and what I mean by this is, to me, being in love is about what you discover about each other along the way. Things that you didn’t know you had in common, or how you can make someone laugh when you do a certain impression and then looking at them knowing you don’t want this journey with them to end. Yeah, those moments have come about but then, quickly disappeared into a puff of smoke.
Now, I know that my brother and Debbie are amazing people but their wedding was so different from any I’d been to before and this was because it was something they did together. From the marquees that my brother made himself out of timbers of wood and canvas’ to Debbie’s handpainted mural on their DIY, well actually less DIY and more fantasy bar because it looks like something out of a Tolkien book (if you don’t know who he is, we can’t be friends, I’m not sorry).
The wedding was also incredibly special because of the people who were there to witness it. Best friends drove Debbie and my brother to the church, ladies of the WI made cakes for the reception, my mother made their wedding cake (I watched her make tiny blackberries with a wooden toothpick…it was unbelievable!), work friends and family including myself read passages from the Bible, and their brothers signed the witness book.
Honestly, thinking back it was so inclusive, it wasn’t just about two people, it was about everyone that is part of their lives.
To Debbie and Stu:
Thank you for renewing a feeling that has been dormant for years. A feeling that I once believed would keep on going but didn’t. You’ve shown me that with a little patience and faith, you can find everything you’ve ever been looking for and truly belong to someone.
I know you’ll have a wonderful life together because you’ve already proved what love is supposed to look like, how its supposed to make you feel and that you could literally bump into your soul mate in somewhere as simple as a coffee shop on the way to work.
You are the kind of love I’ve read about in books and I am incredibly honoured to have such a big family that inspires me to write only the good words again.