I’ve only lived in Hanoi for a few months now but my experience so far of men here can only be compared to the likes of the men in Sex and The City (please tell me you’ve at least seen the films). I think I expected to meet the love of my life here but so far, I’ve just met- well, idiots. Maybe they’re not idiots, maybe they’re just as lost as me but instead of being lost in Thomas Hardy novels, they’re getting lost passing out on balloons filled with nitrous oxide andspending 5 mil on acid on the weekend. Although I can identify these men are not my cup of tea, I’m still that dumb ass who is qualifying a connection from liking the same books, music or favourite food as a potential Mr Right, and then wondering why very quickly they aren’t asking me out on dates and cuddling up for more than one night.
Imagine you’re Carrie, I do anyway. I came to Hanoi for the three C’s; clothes being made by some of the most talented people on earth. Secondly, connections– I want to find more soul mates, I don’t particularly think you’re limited to finding soul mates in someone you want to date, I actually met my soul sister during my last extensive travelling trip and I couldn’t imagine my life without her. Back to soul mates, I think these are the people who you meet organically, whether they’re at an open mic night, a local quiz, or a Christmas work trip, you just have to be open to finding them. Even though it’s only been a few months I feel like I have found more already and that makes my heart grow three times, you know like the Grinch? Lastly, chapters- we all have these and I believe they’re measured in what we do. The choices we make now that end up helping define the next chapters in our lives. I wanted to do something different with my year- grow in a way that throws me into the wild and somewhat forbidden chosen adventures of a small-town girl from North Wales. I wasn’t happy for a while with what I suspected would be my future chapters so I quit my job, booked a flight and began. So far, it’s been pretty unexpected and although I moaned at the beginning of this blog post about not being loved up already, I’m okay with that as I’m surrounded by my soul mates and they’re pretty great. These are the special kind of people that can predict ways to make me happy, whether it’s a topic of conversation, a funny accent or story that has me throwing my head back laughing, we’re communicating on a level that’s routing for us to be happy and I am eternally grateful for these souls that seem to match mine and allow me to be my unfiltered self so freely.
Hanoi unfortunately, is this city packed with what feels like too many souls sometimes. Sometimes it feels like you’re constantly seeing the same kind of person too often and it can be hard to keep that open mindset where you have to almost act like you have no soul and be that person who leaves someone on read.
Thinking about love though and what I want, I think it should start with an easy conversation. You’ll want to know how to make each other smile, but already automatically halt at telling or doing anything that would upset them and you’ll plan to be in each other’s lives, because you’ll crave them, even if you’re reading this right now and thinking about a short conversation you’ve had in person or online with someone you’ve recently met, keep the faith that everything will work out. Even if they don’t turn out to be more than a friend or a few conversations in a bar, at the end of a corner just down the road from your favourite café or just on an app which you’ve recently followed them on. You can’t control whether someone wants to be in your life, that is a choice made by two people, sorry bub.
Sex in the city of Hanoi is as you think, overwhelming and from what I hear- random as hell! From ‘my girl Fridays’ to finding the love of your life on a tour, I’ve seen a lot and heard even more from friends. I wish I’d experienced something real but people here come and go and you have to shift yourself into this temporary state of mind that allows you to walk freely down the streets of Tay Ho and be comfortable enough to know that the guys that you do meet, see you for an evening, and not for the rest of the days in their week. I’ll keep you posted if someone catapults into my life but for now, sex and lots of it are always on the table so, eat up.